


stay death's hand

by SaraJaye



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Angst, Bathing/Washing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Remorse, Serious Injuries, Tender loving care, Tending to Wounds, What-If, between scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-17
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-21 11:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2467418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We're only delaying the inevitable."</p>
            </blockquote>





	stay death's hand

**Author's Note:**

> What if they hadn't gone straight to Beryl afterwards? A "what could have been" from episode 35.

Finally, he could breathe again, though that did nothing to ease the pain radiating from every muscle in his body. She'd nearly _killed_ him, and for the first few moments he'd relished being alive, realized how strong he was to withstand the Crystal's power. But then Kunzite arrived and he was reminded of their mission, of his failure. Sailor Moon had the Crystal. Her tears for Tuxedo Mask had awakened her power.

Queen Beryl would be summoning them any moment, he was still weak and shaking and everything hurt and an unpleasant feeling was simmering. Something akin to fear, only he hated to think of it as such.

"Kunzite," he gasped, "I-"

"We'll talk later. Take off your jacket."

"Eh?!"

"I want to examine you," Kunzite said. "She did quite a bit of damage with her attack."

"It's nothing." How he was still standing was a miracle, if such things existed. "I heal quickly, remember?"

"She almost destroyed you." Kunzite led him into their washroom. "Jacket off."

"But-" Zoisite sighed. "Very well." But his hands shook and he was still leaning heavily against Kunzite and he felt his knees about to give out. Kunzite frowned, settling him on the edge of the bathtub.

"I hope you haven't broken anything," he murmured, tugging the garment out of the way himself and gasping. "You're nothing but bruises! Zoisite, you're _bleeding_...we need to get this taken care of right away."

"We don't have time." Zoisite shivered, he felt weak and feeble and pathetic and hated every moment of it. Somehow, Kunzite being so attentive made it worse; _I failed. I didn't just fail with a stupid monster the way Nephrite or Jadeite did. I let the Crystal fall into enemy hands._

He heard the water running, felt Kunzite's arms wrap around him and tried not to wince.

"A hot bath will help ease your aches and pains," his lover said, "and afterwards I'll put some witch hazel on those cuts."

"I _can't,_ Kunzite. Queen Beryl, she-"

"Don't worry about her. If she summons us, I will go alone." Kunzite kissed his forehead. "Into the bath. Now. I don't want anymore arguments."

"Very well." Somehow he managed to remove the rest of his clothing without too much of a struggle. Kunzite helped him into the warm water and drew the curtain shut, Zoisite leaning back and sighing with relief. The water did indeed begin to work its magic, at least soon enough he no longer felt like he had a gaping hole in his spine.

Unfortunately, as the physical aches faded the stronger the suffocating blanket of fear grew. _I will go alone._ He'd stabbed Tuxedo Mask, he'd caused Sailor Moon to weep and her powers to awaken. They had the Crystal now.

Queen Beryl likely knew everything. She would want his head on a pike for this, and if Kunzite went alone...

 _What if she punishes him for my foolishness?_ For the first time in his life, he knew what regret felt like. _Foolish, impulsive boy!_ She'd warned him not to lay a hand on Tuxedo Mask, he'd disobeyed her...he'd had a good reason to stab the bastard, of course, but still.

 _You orchestrated your own downfall,_ a voice in his head mocked, sounding too much like Nephrite. Zoisite shuddered, pulling his knees up to his chest. _Shut up! Maybe she'll give us another chance! If we just explain things...we've done everything right so far!_

How long did they have before Queen Beryl summoned them? He kept expecting to be suddenly in the throne room before her, naked and wet and pathetic. It was always a danger, the thought of being summoned during an inopportune moment; it had yet to happen but there was a first time for everything.

He drained the tub and stepped out carefully, wrapping a fluffy pink bathrobe around himself and making his way to the bedroom. His uniform lay folded beside the bed, and Kunzite stopped him as he went to retrieve it.

"Not before I tend to your wounds," his lover said. "And then, you need to rest."

"No time. Remember-"

"Didn't you listen?" Kunzite stroked his cheek. "I will speak to Queen Beryl. I will handle things."

"She'll be angry." Zoisite sat down on the bed, swallowing against the lump he felt forming in his throat. "I can't let you incur her wrath alone, Kunzite." Kunzite's expression grew dark as he sat down, enfolding Zoisite in a tense embrace.

"You were hurt badly enough today," he said quietly. "I don't want anything else to happen to you."

"But..." He swallowed again. "I'm the one who failed us, Kunzite. I can't allow you to take the blame for my impulsiveness."

"What you did was wrong, yes." Kunzite's arms tightened around him. "But the damage is done and if I can protect you from anymore punishment, then so be it." Zoisite's heart leapt into his throat, tears pricking at the back of his eyes. _You can't mean..._

"I won't let you," he ground out, clutching Kunzite's jacket tightly. "I won't see you hurt for my own mistakes!"

"Zoisite-"

"I _won't!_ " And suddenly the tears were spilling over, Zoisite burying his face against the older man's chest. "I won't...it was my fault. I failed us, I stabbed him. I'd rather _die_ than let her punish you for what I did!" He was shaking worse than he'd been before, even as he felt a gentle hand stroking his hair.

Normally he relished in Kunzite's comforting gestures. Anytime Nephrite made him angry or he was worried about a mission, those gentle hands and that quiet smile were the balm that eased his moods. But now, with such a harsh realization staring him in the face, all he felt was remorse. Something he'd hoped never to feel as long as he lived.

"And I feel exactly the same," Kunzite said at length. "I should have been firmer with you. I should have taught you the folly of seeking revenge at the cost of Queen Beryl's orders." He sighed. "I can't help but feel as though I failed you a little."

"But, Kunzite-"

"Right now, I just want to ignore everything and keep you here. Safe, with me."

Zoisite looked up, forcing a smile.

"You can't stop time, though, Kunzite. Neither of us have that kind of power." He rubbed at his eyes with the sleeve of his robe. "We're only delaying the inevitable."

"I know." Kunzite held him closer, running a hand through the wet ends of his ponytail. It was going to dry stiff, curly and wild and Zoisite wasn't looking forward to straightening it out later. "But for now...please, rest. Let me tend to you while I still can."

"I must look really pathetic if you're in full nursemaid mode," Zoisite laughed bitterly as he felt Kunzite remove his robe. He bit back a shout of pain as he felt the witch hazel being applied to his wounds, tried to keep still. His lover's hands were gentle and slow and he found himself starting to bask in it.

He wished time could stop, just for a while, so he could rest and heal and cling to Kunzite and feel no shame in it. He wanted the Sailor Guardians to just disappear and leave the Crystal behind so Queen Beryl could have it and be happy, and leave him and Kunzite alone forever.

But even time stopped would eventually start again, and they'd be facing Queen Beryl and their punishment.

He slipped into a pair of loose silk pants and under the covers, Kunzite settling beside him and running a hand through his hair. _I want to keep you safe,_ the gesture said, but they both knew it was a task impossible. Whatever awaited them wasn't going to be pleasant.

 _I love you,_ he wanted to say, but his head felt heavy and coherent words didn't seem to come. He let out a contented sigh, grasping Kunzite's hand in his own and squeezing before he tumbled into a dreamless sleep.


End file.
